


Everything

by OrionRedde, Shyrstyne



Series: Cometverse [75]
Category: Kingdom Hearts (Video Games)
Genre: Depression, Multi, magic shenanigans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-03
Updated: 2020-09-03
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:33:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26259481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OrionRedde/pseuds/OrionRedde, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shyrstyne/pseuds/Shyrstyne
Summary: Sora hasn't been okay since the Graveyard, and his veneer of being so is falling away. Luckily he has his family to help.
Relationships: Kairi/Riku/Sora (Kingdom Hearts)
Series: Cometverse [75]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1285373
Comments: 8
Kudos: 16





	1. Cracks

**Author's Note:**

> this is one of those things where i realised i'd basically written the same thing twice, but couldn't bear to let go of either version, so i'm throwing them here together. the first deals with sora and comet, and the other deals with riku and kairi (+heart hotel). both are decent resolutions to sora's particular subplot imo, though one deals only with his emotional state where the other treats it as a more... physical ailment, so to speak. i guess they're both canon, but like i said, there really only neeeeeeded to be one of these. file that under a big old Oops lol

You’re putting together ingredients for cookies, but you’re not really paying attention. You startle as Vanitas plucks the egg out of your hand, cracking it and letting its contents flow smoothly into the bowl, picking up the whisk and starting to mix without a word.

It’s the third time it’s happened in the last five minutes.

“Sorry Van,” You sigh. “I guess I’m a little distracted.”

“Yeah no shit.” He rolls his eyes. “You’re worse than Lea when he’s off his med’s right now.”

“Hey,” You protest, “He doesn’t actually space out that much. He’s just flighty.”

“Uh huh.” He hums non committedly. “So you gonna tell me what’s up?”

“It’s Sora.” You admit. “I hadn’t realised it at first, with everything happening with Isa, but he hasn’t come by since that awful attempt at magic a while back. I tried texting him but he hasn’t answered. I guess I’m just worried.”

Vanitas looks at you, brows furrowed.

“I saw him the other day, he’s fine.”

So he’s avoiding you specifically. Great. You sigh again, picking up the flour and measuring it out.

Vanitas watches you quietly for a minute, still stirring the wet ingredients to a light froth, contemplative.

“I’m glad he’s okay.” You say finally, knowing the pause is long and awkward. You and Van often did things like this, merely doing the same activity in silence, enjoying each other's presence, but something gnaws at you today, and it spurs you to fill the quiet. “I was worried, after what happened. I guess he’s just been busy.”

Vanitas sets down the bowl.

“You think he’s avoiding you?”

“He’s not the sort of person to do that.” You deflect without looking at him, picking up the salt instead and throwing a dash into the mix.

“Not on purpose.” Vanitas agrees, or seems to. He unties his apron, a pastel pink thing you had gotten him as a joke and that he’d used consistently ever since.

He dusts his hands, though he’s still got bits of flour and egg clinging to him anyway, and warps away.

“Vanitas!” You call. “No warping in the house!” But he’s already gone. You huff and turn back to the ingredients strewn about the counter. Where had the vanilla gotten to?

Not a minute later and a portal opens in the same space Vanitas had just left, and a body comes tumbling through.

“Ow! Van!”

“Sora?” You ask, bewildered as the boy runs a hand over spiky hair, wincing.

“Talk.” Vanitas’ voice comes through the portal as it closes, fading into wisps and then disappearing entirely. You shake your head and then help Sora to his feet.

“Sorry about the flour.” You say as you belatedly realise you’re covered in the stuff, and due to its nature, now it’s on Sora too, little white streaks across his black armguards.

“Aw s’ok.” He shrugs with a smile, though it seems a little strained. “What are you making?” He eyes the busy counter with open curiosity.

“Cookies, probably chocolate chip. Want to help, since I seem to have lost my usual assistant?” You offer, casually sidestepping the strangeness of Vanitas abruptly all but throwing Sora into your lap.

“Sure!” He brightens and bounces over to the counter, eyeing up the ingredients with a canny look. He takes up the bowl Vanitas had been whisking and resumes the activity with a practiced motion. You look over the list. What step had you been on? Was it Baking Powder you needed or Baking Soda? You never could keep the two straight.

You pick up one to inspect it, trying to remember when you hear Sora cough.

“Uh not that one. You want the baking powder for this recipe.”

You look up, and he flushes, looking embarrassed at having to correct you.

“N-not that it won’t work. It’ll just taste different.”

“Thanks, Sora.” You smile, putting the little box down and reaching for the other one. Measuring out and adding the powder is done in quiet, but it’s a different feel to how you do it with Vanitas. There’s a tension in the air you can’t quite place.

“How have you been, Sora?” You ask at length. “I haven’t seen you since-”

“I’ve been fine.” He cuts you off. You blink in surprise, Sora isn’t normally so brusque. “I’ve been seeing Ellie, taking my med’s.”

You wonder why your near mentioning of Sora’s botched attempt at wild magic makes him mention that.

“That’s good.” You say quietly, reaching for the bowl Sora’s holding and pouring it into yours, starting to mix it together. “It’s been busy around here, I’m sure you heard about Isa, but I’ve missed you.”

“I’m sorry.” Sora’s hands flex, bereft of something to do.

“It’s okay cub, but maybe next time tell me. I got a little worried when you weren’t even answering my texts.”

“I’m sorry, I just..” He sniffs, and you set the bowl down, turning towards him.

He steps back and you pause, confused.

“What’s wrong?”

“I don’t want to be nothing.” His voice is so quiet and broken you could cry. You try to reach out but he leans away and you stop.

“What do you-?”

“My core magic. It’s _nothing_. Why am I something so- so _awful…_?”

“Sora.” You say with a breath. You take another, steadying yourself. “It’s not awful, and you are more than your magic, you know that right?”

“It is though!” He bursts out. “That was Xemnas’ power and look what he did!”

“You are not Xemnas!” You counter, mind whirling desperately. “Sora-”

“But we have the same power, what else could that mean? I looked it up later- well, Riku helped me- and it’s- it’s not natural! Almost no one has it as a normal thing, so what does that mean for me and everything that’s happened?”

You reach out again, and this time he doesn’t lean away. You pull him closer by one hand, feeling the rough calluses that have made themselves home on his fingers.

He works so hard, this boy. He may not be your son but after all these years.. you feel like you’ve failed him somehow.

“You are not your magic.” You repeat, slower and calmer this time. “Look, I’ll be the first to admit I don’t know much about nothing magic specifically- yes, it’s pretty rare, but that doesn’t make it _bad._ People can use the same calling in different ways. It doesn’t define who you are.” 

“Then why would I have a magic like Nothing?” He asks, gaze focused on your locked hands. You sigh.

“You know… Nothing is what makes everything else possible.” You say, and his mouth twists in doubt before you have an idea, pulling him back toward the counter and the half finished cookie dough.

“Here.” You let go of Sora and stick your hands in and finish mixing the dough, pulling out five globs of it and spreading them across the flour encrusted counter.

“What do you see?” You ask. He looks at you curiously.

“Cookie dough?” He says with uncertainty, looking for the trick. You nod.

“Right, which will become cookies eventually. But pretend these are… well anything really. Here, this one is me now.” You point at one that hadn’t quite mixed properly in your rush, leaving cracks spreading through it, coated in flour. He chuckles.

“Aaaaand that one is Vanitas.” You point at one that hadn’t wanted to let go of your hand when you’d set it down, giving it a slightly spiky top as it had stuck. Sora’s weak grin grows a little wider.

“And Aerith.” You indicated one with a long tail behind it. 

“That one can be Myde.” You point at one much more goopy than the rest, even now still settling into its shape. “And the last one can be Leon because it’s normal and boring.” You grin, and finally Sora gives a laugh.

“Okay, so why the cookie dough people?” He asks, and you gesture to the little scene.

“Nothing is what makes it possible.”

He quirks his head.

“Huh?”

You hum, trying to figure out how to articulate your point.

“Let me put it this way, what happens to these little cookie people if there is no nothing?” You ask. He casts his gaze over the scene again, thinking hard. You give him a minute before reaching over and scooping all five up into one ball of dough.

“Hey I wasn’t done!” He protests. You hold out the ball, which he instinctively reaches out to catch as you drop it into his palms.

“This is what happens Sora. Without nothing, nothing could exist, we’d just be one big ball of mass with no point, no lives of our own. Arguably, it’s the most important element of all.”

He looks at the ball of cookie dough like you’d solved a complex math puzzle he still didn’t understand.

“But Xemnas-”

“Was an asshole.” You answer promptly. “Wasn’t there a lightning lady on their side too? Lar-something?”

“Larxene.” Sora nods. “She wasn’t very nice.”

“Am I like Larxene?” You prompt, and he shakes his head hard.

“No way!”

“Exactly. And you’re not like Xemnas. Whether your magic is natural or not doesn’t really matter. What you do with your gift is entirely up to you, nibling.”

His doubtful look is back, but it isn’t quite so dour this time. You take that as a hopeful sign.

“I guess that makes sense…” He says.

“You don’t sound like it does.” You say, and he shrugs.

“I guess I just. I don’t know. With everything, and Ellie and the meds…” He trails off, and you realise what he’s trying to get at.

“Sora no. You are not your depression any more than you are your magic. They’re not related in any way I swear.” You say with finality. “If that was the case Isa would be the thunder boy and I’d have Nothing too.”

“You?” He blinks, surprised. You shrug.

“Not anymore, I’m lucky. But I dealt with some nasty stuff in my teenage years. Traverse Town.. wasn’t exactly a place with a lot of hope for us.”

He blinks again, and again, and you realise he’s holding back tears. You hold your arms out for a hug and he falls into them gratefully.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have let it get to me.” He mumbles into your shoulder. Goodness, when had the little shrimp gotten so tall? He’d barely been up to your waist when you’d first met him, and now he’s eye level with you.

“Oh hun don’t be sorry. I probably should have explained it better.” You assure, rubbing little circles into his back. “You know I’m always here for you.”

You feel him nod.

“Yeah. Yeah thanks, untie.”

You pull back, and he wipes at his cheek with his free hand, the other still holding a mishappen lump of dough. He’s absolutely coated in flour now. What a pair you are.

“Now, want to help me finish these cookies? Van’s not here so you get to decide how many chocolate chips go in.” You say with a smile, and he beams.

“All of them!” He says, and you laugh.

All it is.


	2. Grout

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riku and Kairi know something is wrong and getting worse. They're going to get to the bottom of it.

It’s mid afternoon and Sora is asleep.

Riku checks in on him, looking through the little gap in the door before closing it quietly. He treads away, going down another level in their spacious gummiship, and finds Kairi on the lower level- their ‘living room’. She has her knees drawn up to her chest and tail wrapped around her.

He settles on the massive bean bag next to her with a tired sigh.

“How is he?” She asks without turning her head from the little screen on the other end of the room, playing some show he knows she’s not actually watching.

“Sleeping.” He answers. Her lips turn down but only barely. He leans back and closes his eyes.

“I’m worried.” Kairi whispers, curling into Riku, the fur of her ears tickling his nose. “I thought the meds were supposed to help. I thought they _were_ helping.”

Riku inhales through his nose and exhales through his mouth, trying to put words to something he’s not sure how to express.

“I think they are.” He answers at length. “I think… I think there’s something else.”

He feels her shift again and opens his eyes to find her looking directly at him, her expression seeking answers. He chews on his cheek as he tries to figure out how to say it and she waits patiently, knowing how he wants to say things right.

“You remember how we took the Mark of Mastery, right?” He asks, and her snout wrinkles at the memory as she nods. “And how I became a dream eater?”

“Yessss..” She draws out, wondering where he’s going with this.

“Sometimes I’ll go in and eat nightmares.” He says, omitting just how often he does so. “Some dives are deeper than others and I… I’ve started noticing things. Things that were always there but I’m starting to realise maybe they weren’t supposed to be.”

“Eat night- that’s why we never have nightmares when we all sleep together.” Kairi blinks, surprised at herself that she hadn’t realised sooner. She’d thought it was just nice having two warm bodies with her to lull her to a peaceful sleep. “What did you notice?”

“It’s… hard to explain.” Riku hums, closing his eyes again. Kairi squints at the bags under his eyes that have been there so long she’d stopped thinking anything of it. She’s thinking of it now, and wondering just how long this nightmare eating business has been going on. “It’s almost more a- a feeling, than anything you can see. Like if broken glass was being trailed across the back of your hand, not quite cutting, but fractured.. Broken.”

“That sounds bad.” Kairi frowns. Riku nods.

“It was barely noticeable at first.” Riki admits. “And at first it grew so slowly I didn’t realise. Not until after what happened with Comet and the nothing magic.”

“He said Myde put him back together. Do you think he missed some?” Kairi asks, and Riku shakes his head.

“No, Myde probably did fine, it’s just whatever was holding all the bits together just started… dissolving. I don’t know.” Riku runs a hand through his hair, frustrated. “It could be a coincidence, but I doubt it.”

“What do we do?” Kairi asks, her voice a terrified whisper. “If he’s literally falling apart-!”

Riku doesn’t answer, and his hands clench into tight fists, staring into space with a hopeless look she hasn’t seen in a long time.

She reaches out and takes one of his hands, pulling the fist loose so she can twine her fingers with his.

“You said you noticed when you were diving, right?” She asks, and he nods. “So… let’s do that. We’ll do a dive and go as deep as we can and see what we can find. Like… Like reconnaissance.”

Riku looks up at her and a smile forms on his face.

“Yeah.”

-

“Are you sure we should do this without telling him?” Kairi worries quietly as they approach the door to their sleeping quarters. Riku sighs.

“If we told him we were looking for something that might be… hurting him or something, he’d clam up, even subconsciously. We can’t risk him hiding something without meaning to.” He says, and then adds, “Besides, I already have a lifetime pass from him from after the Mark exam. I’m sure he’d extend that to you too.”

“I guess.” Kairi fiddles with her bracelets. “Ugh, you’re right, he would clam up. I still don’t like this.”

“I know.” Riku says, putting a hand on her shoulder. “We can apologize after.”

With that they enter the room, moving to the large bed at the far end where Sora still lays in a dead sleep. Riku settles at his front, and Kairi at his back. He reaches out one hand and they link fingers above Sora’s shoulders, settling gently against his tan skin.

They both take a moment to simply enjoy the contact, breathing softly into the silence.

Then with an unspoken signal, they close their eyes

And _drop._

It’s a weird sensation for Kairi, who’s never really done it on her own before, though she’s had the process explained to her.

The world around her tilts wildly, bits and bops and memories sliding past her in a flurry, and for a moment she struggles to orient herself. There is no up or down, despite the fact that she’s definitely falling, and eventually she gets herself pointed in roughly the right direction.

A moment later she feels something at her side and she looks up to find Riku falling beside her, a grin on his face.

“Why do you get wings?” Kairi demands. “I want wings!”

Riku’s bat-like wings flap lazily behind him as they fall, clearly not doing much to actually lift him in this scenario, and he chuckles. His keyblade hums in his hand and she takes the cue to summon her own, noting the tips of his fingers are a bright pink, and there are hues of purple and blue that are clearly not part of the fabric of his outfit on the edges.

“Sorry.” He says, not sounding sorry at all. “Dream eater privileges.”

Kairi pouts at him, jealous. She assumes that explanation suffices for the weird colours and pointed fingertips too.

It’s all so unfair. Wings had to be every little girl's dream.

Still, she thinks as he zips down to swing through a moving pattern to grab some glowing prize that he eats with delight, at least dating the cool monster boy was a nice second best.

That said….

She wills herself to move faster, dipping past him as he blinks in surprise.

“Race you!” She shouts, and she hears him bark a laugh behind her.

“Whoever grabs the most prizes doesn’t have to make dinner!” He returns, and her only response is to grin wider and angle herself towards another prize on her way down.

It’s a wonderful, brief moment of levity that’s been sorely needed, Kairi thinks.

It doesn’t last though, as the tunnel gets darker and darker, and that broken feeling that Riku had mentioned grows more and more obvious, grinding uncomfortably against the back of Kairi’s mind. Riku feels it too, drawing up to be falling level with her once more.

“Think we’re getting close?” She asks. The memory windows around them are starting to get fuzzy now, and there are faint images of sleeping Sora’s in the air around and below.

“I don’t know.” Riku says. “Before I stopped when I came to Sora’s Station of Awakening- his heart, but this time might be different. I don’t know what will happen.”

“You don’t?” She asks. He frowns and his wings twitch. It’d be cute if they weren’t both so worried.

“We still can’t see it. That worries me.” He admits.

“I thought you said you dropped into his dreams sometimes.” She says, wondering how he wouldn’t have noticed something like that before. Riku nods.

“Yeah, his dreams. We’re diving into his heart. It’s…. Similar, but not quite the same. Like parallel train tracks, we _could_ jump from one to the other, and sometimes they intersect, but it’s not easy if the trains are already moving.”

Kairi pretends she understands.

Something in the air shifts, and Kairi feels lighter all of a sudden, her feet pointing forward as the two very suddenly come to rest on something flat and solid and entirely unseen in the darkness. Riku furrows his brows, looking around.

“That’s not right…” He murmurs. “Where…?”

Kairi kneels, touching fingertips to the ground below, something tugging achingly at her heart.

“Oh.” She murmurs, making Riku glance at her. “I think I see.”

“What is it?” He asks. She doesn’t answer, taking a deep breath, and letting light gather in her hand, spilling out into the ground below, making the dark ever so slowly recede.

“You were right.” She says as she lets the power course through her. “Except he didn’t even have to know we were coming to hide.”

Bit by bit, Sora’s station is revealed, and bit by bit, Riku’s horror grows as he sees what the darkness had hidden.

Sora’s station is effused with large cracks, pieces held together by only stringy remnants of darkness that Kairi’s light hadn’t burned away. Even as he watches the chunks seem to waver, as if in and out of reality, the edges crumbling like dirt at the edge of a cliff.

“Oh stars.” He whispers. “Kairi-”

“I see it.” She says as she stands, taking his limp hand in hers. “I think… I think this might be the problem.”

“Yeah.” Riku’s voice is strangled. “What do we do?”

He’d been in Sora’s heart before, and though that time had been scary and tumultuous, Sora’s light had been strong. Sora’s heart, as always, had led Riku’s way.

But now that heart was hurting, and broken, and Riku doesn’t know how to fix it.

Kairi’s grip on his hand tightens, her expression growing determined.

She had also been in Sora’s heart once, and though she had been asleep, she remembers its kind warmth. It’s safety and protection.

Those feelings were still there, but they were tired and worn.

She wants to give that back.

“Can we go deeper?” She asks. Riku’s brows furrow as he ponders the question.

“Kind of. There’s a place, it’s like.. Like the manifestation of the heart, if it were a place. I think that’s as deep as we can get, and I don’t know if it would be safe to when he’s…”

He trails off, looking across the ragged edges of Sora’s heart.

“I think we have to.” She says, and she’s not certain why she knows, but she feels it as Truth. “Someone already tried holding it together from the outside, we need to try something else.”

“Someone already tried?” Riku asks, and Kairi points at the darkness webbing between the cracks, straining to hold the pieces together. Even as they watch another bit dissolves.

“It’s been holding him together, but it’s starting to fall apart. We need something more permanent.”

“Myde maybe?” Riku suggests. “He did say something about pulling the bits back.”

Kairi hums.

“Maybe.” She says, but she sounds doubtful. “It also depends on when this all happened. The thing with the magic definitely made it worse, but you said that feeling was always there, which means something happened before that.”

Riku frowns, but nods, conceding her point.

It worries him that neither of them know what could possibly have happened to cause this. It worries him even more that this means Sora might have been literally falling apart for years without either of them knowing.

“Alright. Deeper then. Ready?” Riku asks, and Kairi nods.

He jumps back, keyblade in his hand once more, and he points it down to a familiar spot as he had before, cracks or no. Light forms and shoots down onto the broken surface, keyhole emerging with a brilliant glow. He flies back down, extending a hand to Kairi that she takes readily.

She smiles at him and his wings twitch in a pleased manner before he can suppress it. He’s not used to having real people with him while diving.

They step into the light-

And come out into the dark.

Kairi gasps as she looks around, and Riku looks faint as they survey the broken, ruined remains of what had clearly once been Destiny Islands. The sand is gritty and sodden beneath his feet as he takes a single step forward, held back by Kairi’s tight grip on his hand, disbelief in his features.

“I don’t know what I expected but,” Riku croaks, “It wasn’t this.”

Kairi steps up to be even with him once more, her eyes distraught but her mouth a grim line of determination.

“Come on.” She says, and they go.

He’s not sure what they’re expecting to find and he doesn’t ask. The island is dead silent, no waves to cross the empty noiselessness, no distant birds or even the buzz of bugs. The few trees left do not rustle, no wind to move them.

Where Destiny Islands had been recreated in loving detail when Riku had visited here before, it had been recreated in dark parody now, a monument to when the Islands had fallen years ago.

He steps over the broken boards of what had once been the bridge across the water. They keep going.

A copse of trees, or what’s left of them. Half a cliff remains standing, and at the top-

“Sora?” Kairi sees him first, and then takes off running and tugging Riku along behind her. He looks up at the boy sitting with his legs dangling over the edge and knows that place. At the top is a little tree with a gold star tied to the top of it, their old race goalpost.

They clamber up the little platforms, coming to a stop on the closest one. The one Sora’s sitting on won’t hold three people.

“Sora.” Riku says, voice breathy not from the run, but seeing the boy- their boyfriend, kicking his feet idly with a smile surrounded by the ruins of their childhood home.

He looks as he did then too, fourteen and carefree, smiling and jaunty, though his eyes hold a weight his fourteen year old self never had.

“Hey guys.” Sora greets cheerily. He does not seem to note that both of them look their current ages, still looking out across the empty ocean. “I was thinking of going for a swim. Wanna race?”

Kairi and Riku glance at each other.

“Sora…” Kairi starts. “Can we talk?”

“Sure, Kai.” Sora smiles, still not looking at them. “What’s up?”

“You’ve been hurt, really badly.” Riku takes over. “We want to help you, and try and fix it if we can, but we’re not sure how.”

The smile slips from Sora’s face, and his gaze across the ocean hole seems empty.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He says. “Wouldn’t you rather race?”

“Of course.” Kairi says. “But this is more important. We can race after, okay?”

“I would rather play.” Sora’s eyes close. “It can’t be fixed. So can’t we play instead?”

“I don’t believe that.” Riku argues, stubborn love evident in his voice and how he leans forward. “Maybe you don’t believe it can be fixed, but I do. Please let us try.”

Sora sighs, and then slowly gets to his feet. As he goes, the world shifts around them, hard rock and gritty sand become cobblestone streets and dim lights.

The loss of home, Traverse Town. Shifting alone and without his pack. Donald and Goofy and Comet had done their best, but the loss of home had been the first major hurt done to him and it showed. Riku has to force himself to control his breathing. Sora walks forward, back turned to them.

“Any heart will break after enough is done to it.” Sora says, his voice shifting as the scene does, becoming the emotionless white walls of Castle Oblivion. Riku isn’t sure why the knowledge that Sora’s voice had broken before the Castle hurts. He hadn’t known that. He hadn’t seen Sora again until he’d already been put to sleep.

Sora steps towards the stairs leading upwards. They follow. Kairi purses her lips as she searches for a specific phrase.

“So it’s just… cumulative trauma?” She asks. They’d already known how much Sora was weighed down by what he’d gone through. They all had things like that. Could that do all this though?”

“No.” Sora says, still leading them upward, back to them. “But it is a factor in the end result, and so you must start from the beginning.”

Riku’s eyes narrow and he reaches out with his free hand to grab Sora’s wrist.

“Who are you?” He asks. “Sora doesn’t talk like that.”

“I am and I’m not.” He doesn’t turn to face them. “The key is an extension of the heart, isn’t it? And so I am both him and separate from him all at once.”

“... I have a headache.” Kairi tries to make sense of it and can’t quite manage. Sora turns to give them both his signature wide smile, but his eyes are closed.

“It’s okay, Kai.” He reassures, voice regaining his signature Sora lilt for a moment. “Trust me, okay?”

“...Okay.” She responds. “Do we call you Kingdom Key or..?”

Sora shakes his head with his grin still in place, returning to leading them up the stairs.

“No, silly. I’m Sora. I’m not Sora. It’s easier.”

Neither of them see how any of this is easy, but they follow him up the stairwell regardless.

The memories take them by surprise.

Kairi buries her face in Riku’s shoulder as Axel murders a man. Battles and manipulations and fear, all ending with a painful goodbye. Sora smiles wistfully as he looks across the white pod, the room empty of all else once Naminé’s memory had vanished.

She had looked in their direction, ghostly and knowing despite her fiction.

“I don’t remember any of it, but the heart never forgets.” Sora reaches up to trail fingers down the pod. “The emptiness where a memory and a hurt might be.”

Riku knows. He’d chosen the opposite, but he hadn’t lost much like Sora had. Sora had never had a real choice in the matter, though he’d been given one.

“You know she never blamed you.” Kairi says. She knows it like she knows her own heart. It feels empty compared to everything that had been done in this Castle.

“I know.” Sora hums, and their surroundings shift again.

Hollow Bastion, Radiant Garden, world after world after world. Saïx. Xaldin.

Axel.

The World That Never Was.

Desperation, fear, the constant ache of missing friends. The crushing weight of missing some important piece, people's expectations. Roxas’ anger. The uncertain trepidation that was the chance of turning into no more than an animal without warning, and not in the usual sense. Antiform was feral, unpredictable, and though it hadn't happened in years now they both know Sora fears it might return. That it might hurt someone dear to him.

And then, Riku. The long search and tearful reunion.

“I’m sorry for running.” It’s all Riku can offer now, and he’s apologized for this before, too caught up in his own trauma to see how he’d been hurting Sora too. The Sora before them keeps walking, near sixteen now, dressed in the blacks and yellows of his Drive-capable clothing.

“We all had our issues.” His voice has gone back to that distant way of speaking though, that seems so unlike Sora. “He understands, even if it hurt at the time.”

The scene shifts, his clothes change once more, red and black and dark X emblazoned across his chest.

“The Mark of Mastery.” Riku says, knowing what’s coming before the scenery can change to show them.

It does, scene after scene after scene, and Riku’s heart drops with each one. Sora had felt so alone the whole time, with a building fear in each successive world. His confusion and terror by the end nearly break Riku’s heart all over again.

Kairi has tears running down her face, though she doesn’t sob or stop, walking alongside them bravely. Riku isn’t prone to tears, or he would be exactly the same he thinks.

“The manipulation by others never does anything good for a heart.” Sora’s heart notes as he continues on, seemingly unaffected as his clothes shift once more. Still sixteen, nearly seventeen, dark reds and blacks, and both Riku and Kairi think they know what’s coming.

“The battle with Xehanort.” Kairi says, but to their surprise Sora shakes his head.

“Do you remember? You helped hold him together once.”

Kairi frowns, thinking back.

“I… it’s fuzzy. A tunnel?”

“Yes, a tunnel.” Sora hums as the memories silently walk them through Sora’s hopelessness, his fear of being inadequate, the friendly teasing of others that stings so much more sharply all of sudden. The beginning of a pattern.

Finally, it lands upon the Keyblade Graveyard with all the guardians lined in a row, and Riku feels something like a brick settling in the pit of his stomach though he’s not sure why.

Sora strides up, looking at the Sora in the scene who looks across the wastes with the rest of the Guardians. His face is soft.

“You think you remember this, don’t you?” Sora hums.

“Yes.” Riku says, and doesn’t know why it feels like a lie.

Sora smiles, and then vanishes as the scene starts to play.

It does not go how they expect it to go at all.

Riku and Kairi instinctively draw back and closer together as Ventus is struck down by Terra, horror welling in both of them. Riku’s eyes are drawn to the fallen body, knowing without needing to get closer that there’s almost no hope for the boy after a blow like that, and Kairi’s gaze stays stuck on the possessed Terra with an old stunned fear she had long thought she’d gotten over.

Lea takes a similar hit for Kairi. Kairi sees that same fear reflected in the eyes of her double as Terra raises her blade to her.

Sora tries to shield her, and the blade is blocked by goofy.

“No thats-” Kairi stutters. “That’s not right-”

“This isn’t how it went.” Riku finishes for her. Their clasped palms are sweaty, but they tighten their grip, uncertainty filling them.

Donald unleashes more power in one blow than Riku even knew could be done, and a moment later it’s obvious that it’s more than _should_ be done as he collapses.

They watch as the guardians, what’s left of them, try to regroup. Kairi tugs at Lea, Cure on her lips as he lays limply, telling him that Comet will have his ass if he up and dies on them. Aqua is bent over Ventus as green showers around them. Mickey and Goofy are clustered around Donald, Goofy pulling out ether after ether to pass to Mickey to force feed to Donald. Riku checks on each and then runs to Sora, who stares in a stunned daze up at the gathering swarm of heartless.

“We can still save them.” The Riku of the memory says. “Just keep it together.”

Sora’s gaze drifts to him, still distant but clearing enough that he’s at least seeing Riku now. He nods.

Aqua joins them. She holds no expression at all.

Ven’s body stays where it lays behind them.

Kairi stays next to Lea as the older man groans, trying in vain to get up, but even Cure struggles to keep up with the extent of his injury. She lights up with green again.

The swarm dives, and one by one, the Guardians are swept away.

“This isn’t how it went!” Kairi cries. “That’s not-”

“Why are you showing us this?” Riku asks, and his voice wavers.

The Sora of the memory collapses, entirely hopeless. Memory Riku runs to him.

“I’m worthless.” The memory weeps. “Alone I’m worthless. They’re gone and we can’t save them.”

Riku, the real Riku, feels his heart break cleanly in two.

“Why are you showing us this?!” He shouts this time. “This isn’t real!”

Sora appears beside him, looking at the scene of Riku kneeling over the broken Sora, eyes sad and smiling as he gazes over the scene.

“Just wait.” Is all he says.

The memory of Riku stands.

“I believe in you Sora.” He says, full of quiet determination. Riku draws back, feeling something painful tug in his heart at the tone. The tone of decision. Regret. Unwavering devotion. “I believe in you.”

Goodbye.

Somehow he knows what’s coming.

“No..” He whispers. Kairi spares him a glance but can barely tear her eyes away from the scene.

And a moment later, Riku dies with the rest of them.

Riku collapses to his knees as the darkness encompases the memory, pulling Kairi close.

“Oh stars- Kairi- I did- I _did-”_ He can’t finish. He doesn’t remember it.

But the heart can’t forget.

Kairi says nothing, just weeps silently into his shoulder. They’re grateful that the memory is placed on hold as they collect themselves, the strange Sora-not-Sora waiting patiently nearby.

He’s finally overwhelmed as the tears run and he hugs Kairi close. Even just watching the memory he’s more than they can bear.

Slowly, their tears dry and they separate. Riku looks up at Sora.

“How?”

“We’re getting there.” Sora hums, and Riku hates that placid look this Sora has after watching something so horrific. He doesn’t believe that he could be so numb to something like that.

The Final World is beautiful, and they watch as Sora picks up all his pieces one by one, driven by instinct and the need to return to his friends as he always is. There are so many, dancing, eating, singing. Jaguars lounge in imaginary sunlight, play with balls of string. Visions of him in all forms fight and sleep and laze around. It’s all so very strange.

“Is that it?” Kairi guesses. “That’s the point Sora fell apart?”

“Mmmm… It didn’t help.” The Sora with them tilts his head, and he sounds like their Sora again. “I’ve been taken apart and put back together so many times it’s hard to keep track. This is just one of… well, a lot.”

The Castle, the Mark, and now this… Riku supposes he can see what he means.

“So what’s the breaking point then?” Riku asks. Sora tilts his head as the memory Sora raises his keyblade.

“I need to go back.” He announces to no one. “Take me back.”

It does.

It tears at them that Sora has to watch Riku die twice.

“How cruel.” Kairi murmurs. Riku can’t help but agree.

This time though, something is different.

The heartless is no ordinary thing, they can tell, even as it does what heartless always do, steal hearts. It takes them and wraps them in chains, and one by one Sora chases after then and sets them free.

Despite it all, despite the awful torment of what had made it come to this… They’re both so proud of Sora, for his stubborn determination to keep them all safe.

And then the Young Xehanort is there with his warning, and it all comes together.

“Saving us all hurt him.” Kairi realizes. “Oh stars, he’s been like this since _then_ …?”

Years. That meant it had been years that Sora had been barely holding together. How had they not noticed?

“Chasing the lich broke me, in ways misusing a dangerous power always does. There are parts of me I will never regain.” Sora watches with an absent expression. “Nothing, nothing, nothing. I wonder what I would have been, if things had been different.”

The memories continue to play out, but they fade into the background. The Sora with them hums a jaunty little sailing tune that feels entirely inappropriate.

Depression. The passive suicidality masking as Sora’s typical saviour complex. Riku and Kairi remember these all too well.

The other universe. That one had been traumatizing for all of them in one way or another.

Kairi wipes away her tears, pulls herself together, and sees Riku do much the same alongside her. They have to figure this out. There will be time for tears later.

The Sora beside them is older once more, now the same as the Sora they know now, nineteen and full of joy, scars, and heavy bags under his eyes.

It makes their hearts ache to see how obvious the weight on him is after seeing his innocent youth, and every horror he’d ever experienced.

And then the scene’s around them reach the incident with Comet and his wild magic. Where the strained seams start to come undone, and though they’d been hastily retied by Myde it was obvious now that the solution is temporary at best.

“Okay.” Riku murmurs. “It’s like one of those forbidden spells the old masters talk about sometimes right, with a price. That doesn’t mean we can’t fix it somehow.”

“The power of waking is what did this right?” Kairi asks. “Specifically misusing it. Could the power of waking fix it?”

Riku thinks about it.

“It might be possible. It’s not really what that magic was made for, but it’d be like rebreaking a bone so it can heal properly.” He runs his free hand through his hair. “The problem is if it doesn’t work then we’d be making it infinitely worse.”

“Maybe we should ask some of the other Masters.” Kairi hums, and Key-Sora tenses, expression growing angry though he still doesn’t look directly at them.

“No.” He says with finality. “Don’t tell them.”

“Sora…” Riku sighs. “We don’t know what we’re doing. We need help.”

“Not the Masters. Maybe the family.”

All three of them know who he means by the family. That was a fair number of people at least, even if none of them were keyblade masters. Kairi nods.

“Okay.” She says. “Just hold on, okay? We’re going to get you help.”

Sora just closes his eyes and shrugs.

“I’d still rather just hang around with you guys.”

-

They gather together in the ship. Their ship is certainly much larger than most, with how they practically live in it, but with eight people stuffed into one room even the large interior starts to feel a little cramped.

It had been tense and quiet as each member arrived, some in worry, some (like Vanitas) glaring balefully as he stalks in. They arrange in a loose circle, all pointed in some way towards Sora at the top of the circle.

Sora looks miserable and awkward with all the attention on him, a far cry from how he normally is.

“Did you know?” Vanitas is the first to speak, and it’s clear he’s talking to Sora.

Sora shakes his head.

“No. I knew I had… lost something, after what I did, and I guess I knew it was a possibility, but when it didn’t happen right away I thought maybe I got lucky.”

“In fairness, you are often very lucky.” Xion admits, chewing on their lip.

“He still is, in a way.” Roxas points out. “If he hadn’t had that big blowup with the magic we might not have known until it was too late.”

“So what are gonna do?” Ven asks, and Kairi nods.

“Right, so we have a theory. The power of waking was what caused this, so we think we might be able to use it to fix things, if we do it right.”

“Half of us don’t even know it, though.” Xion frowns, and next to her Naminé leans forward.

“We don’t have to. We’re actually here as… supports.”

“What like moral support?” Vanitas makes a face, making Naminé giggle.

“No, literal support. What Sora did was essentially give pieces of himself away to travel to and save others. What we’re going to do is take bits of ourselves to fill in the cracks. For one person saving many, it’s enough to tear them apart completely, and it probably would have if Sora weren’t, well, Sora.” She takes a breath. “But for us we’re many people saving one. We would need such small pieces from each of us that most of us won’t even feel the difference.”

“And because all of us have had some contact with Sora’s heart, our link with him… Probably helps, right?” Roxas asks. Naminé nods.

“Which brings us to another point.” Riku speaks up. “Ven, Vanitas… I think you should sit this out.”

“What?” Vanitas growls, and Ven’s eyes grow wide and hurt.

“No Way!” Ven protests. Riku raises his hands to belay their anger.

“You’ve both been broken in the past, enough that you nearly fell apart yourselves. I know you’ve healed, but we’re worried this will affect you more than the rest of us.”

“But…” Ven sags. Vanitas’ glare doesn’t lessen.

“Sora saved us. Saved all of us. You can’t stop me.”

“Vanitas.” Sora speaks for the first time since the meeting had begun. “Don’t hurt yourself for me.”

“Fuck you.” Vanitas jabs a finger in his direction, pointed claws forming at the ends with the force of his emotion. “You’re not my Ren and you don’t get to tell me what to do. If I want to help you I will.”

Sora frowns.

“I don’t want us- any of us- to keep hurting each other. I’m… tired of that cycle. Where we go around and around hurting ourselves to keep each other safe. I’m tired of it.”

Solemn silence descends. Kairi takes one of Sora’s hands and Riku leans against his shoulder gently.

Ven and Vanitas share a glance, some unspoken communication between them.

Vanitas nods.

“We’ll hang back, then.” Ventus says. “We’ll keep an eye on each other so we don’t give too much, but we won’t give nothing. We care about you Sora.”

Sora and Ven lock eyes for a long moment, and finally Sora gives in with a nod.

“Okay.” Riku says. “We have a plan. Naminé?”

“Right.” Naminé stands, moving to the center of the circle, letting go of Xion’s hand only reluctantly. “If no one has any objections, I think we can start now.”

“What do we do?” Roxas asks.

“Close your eyes and open your heart.” Naminé says gently. “Sora, maybe you should lay down. Riku will be using the Power of Waking, but as the one with the most experience with hearts and memories, I’ll be directing the… flow of energy so speak.”

One by one, they all close their eyes. There’s the familiar sound of a keyblade being summoned as Riku readies himself.

“Focus on your link with Sora.” Naminé’s calm voice continues. “Follow the link. See that light on the other side.”

Power tingles in the air.

“And dive with it.”

-

When Sora wakes up, he feels more rested than he has in years.

He’s in his room, he notices first, which means someone had moved him. He shifts minutely, and finds Riku and Kairi on either side of him in a long familiar configuration.

He feels…. Whole again. In a way he hadn’t even realised he was missing.

There are still scars, he knows. His mind is as troubled as it ever was, and he’s sure it always will be in some way, but his heart no longer feels so crushed. He no longer feels like he’s just waiting for an unavoidable end.

Tears well in his eyes, and he’d forgotten what it was like to cry in relief.

“Sora?” Riku blinks sleep bleary eyes. “You okay? How are you feeling?”

“Did it work?” That was Kairi, already sitting up.

“Yes.” Sora says between hiccuping sobs. “It feels- I feel good. Really good.”

“Good.” Too wrapped up in his relief Sora isn’t sure who said it, but he supposes it doesn’t matter as they wrap themselves around him.

“Are the others okay?” Sora asks. Kairi giggles, which sets him at ease already, since surely she wouldn’t if anyone had been hurt.

“Already worrying, huh?” She says. “They’re fine, just exhausted. We pulled out all the extra nest stuff so they could curl up in the den.”

“And yes, Vanitas tried to give more than he should, but we all made sure he didn’t hurt himself, so don’t worry.” Riku adds. “You can chew him out later too.”

“We already did.” Kairi nuzzles into his collarbone and the three settle back into the mattress.

“Good.” Sora sighs, content for the first time in what feels like forever. “Good.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> obviously sora's still got to deal with depression and trauma, that stuff doesn't just go away, but yknow. it'll be a little bit easier now without his heart literally falling apart on him. it really is a testament to just how resiliant that sora is that he made it this far with how much has been actively working against him tbh.


End file.
